splitting the adam

"There, and back again"

Bonus points if you recognize the obscure geek/literary reference...

So, with week two of Dancing With the Stars done, and, having failed to get even close to identifying the front runners last week, I think I've managed to narrow things down...

First to go? Sorry, Gavin and Martina, but I don't think the popular vote will counteract your scores.

My top five, most likely to make the finals: Donald Driver, Katherine Jenkins, Maria Menounos, Roshon Fegan, and William Levy. Personally, I'd love to see either Maria (and her infectious/creepy laugh) or Katherine win.

Time will tell...

 

Dancing With the Stars live blog...

The short answer? Best. Premiere. Ever.

Well, first, congrats to ABC for not casting any a-holes or clowns. I'm actually looking forward to seeing a group of maybe-not-quite celebrities but at least nobody objectionable. That being said...

1. Bruno's suit? Shiny much?

2. Congrats to Bruno for namechecking Sofia Vergara--she should be on next season!

3. Bonus! An episode of 'Castle' set on a faux 'Dancing With the Stars'!

4. A surprising number of '8's--and two '9's!

And now, on with the show...

Maria Menounos: I don't know exactly who she is, but her laugh is amazing and she seems pretty capable on dance floor. Being paired with Derek is a plus, too.

Jack Wagner: I neither followed his singing nor his acting career., so I pretty much came in blind. Overall, better than I expected, and looks to be in pretty good shape for the long haul.

Donald Driver: Funny family man, and on fire on the dance floor! Wow--hell of a first night performance! And extra points for the adorable kids!

Gavin DeGraw: Seriously; is the hat crazy-glued to your head? Not bad on the floor; a bit unsure, it seemed, but he's got a strong partner in Karina.

Roshon Fagan: Well, he clearly comes in with an unfair advantage, but his awkwardness in rehearsals disappeared once he hit the dance floor. If he can keep that up during the slower, more elegant dances, he's got potential.

Sherri Shepherd: Freakin' hilarious, and pretty light on her feet, too. I hope she sticks around just for the entertainment value. "Short of birthin' my child, this the hardest thing I've had to do in my entire life..."

Melissa Gilbert: This season's Jennifer Grey--the injured cougar? A bit worried to hear she 'broke her back', which might be problematic in the long haul. No apparent formal training, but did quite well in the face of probably the evening's toughest choreography.  A few rough edges, but a good start, and I like her attitude.

William Levy: I'll admit--I did have a bit of trouble...er...concentrating. But despite what looked like a disastrous rehearsal, he redeemed himself quite gracefully on the dance floor, and having Cheryl Burke as a partner doesn't hurt, either.  

Martina Navratilova: An "A" for effort, but clearly some issues with fluidity and musicality compared to the other female contestants. Better than I expected, but, hey, someone's gotta go first...

Katherine Jenkins: Well, that's quite a set of pipes...but not your typical stuffy classical singer. Fun to watch, and a really nice job with the foxtrot. Her biggest challenge will be the "Who the heck is she?" factor--but high score of the evening so far!

Gladys Knight: Is the Irish guy always going to get the older women? Good chemistry between her and Justin, she moves great (I hope I can move like that at her age), and I suspect she'll be getting the popular vote for a while, too.

Jaleel White: This was the big finish? I was skeptical--but, to paraphrase Kim, "Be nice to the geeky guys." Graceful, elegant, with an honest and open smile on his face the whole time.

At this point, I'm going to have to break with my tradition of calling the top four; frankly, there's no one really bad and there are quite a lot of good people. I'm willing to dismiss Martina and Gavin early on, but it's a hell of a horse race.

 

 

 

 

 

Once upon a Beetle?

So--riddle me this...

On ABC's Once Upon a Time--wherein all your favorite fairy tale characters like Snow White and Rumplestiltskin are alive and well and living today in Storybrooke, Maine--the main character (Snow White's daughter) drives a beat-up, vintage VW Beetle.

On NBC's Grimm--wherein a detective discovers he can 'see' mythical creatures like the Three Bears--the sidekick (a reformed blutbad, or 'Big Bad Wolf') drives a beat-up, vintage VW Beetle.

So, two modern-day fairy tale shows where a vintage Beetle plays a prominent role. Coincidence? Bass-ackwards product placement? You decide...

Random thoughts on the Tony Awards...

1. It's deliciously ironic that, for all the talk of the Tony Awards being the gay equivalent of the Superbowl, host Neil Patrick Harris opened with the show with a brilliantly hilarious song explaining that Broadway is "not just for gays anymore." 2. Ellen Barkin is still around? I assume her excessively along acceptance speech is explained by the fact that she seemed to fall off the face of the earth and she wanted to make sure people didn't forget her. I also wanted to see Joanna Lumley win just to get a bit of an AbFab flashback. 3. Surprise! Daniel Radcliffe can sing and dance quite well (and does a very good American accent). Personally, I think "How To Succeed" might not have been the best vehicle to make his musical debut; any show that includes a number called "A Secretary is Not a Toy" doesn't really age well, "Mad Men" notwithstanding. 4. Loved the number from "Catch Me If You Can", although I was surprised they didn't showcase the star of the show. 5. Thought the Spiderman bit was hilarious. 6. David Hyde Pierce? Still funny after these all years. 7. "I want to thank everyone I met in my entire life." 8. What kind of shirt was Trey Parker wearing? He looked a bit like a disco priest... 9. Well, what's an award show without a shrieking, crying winner...? But the charm vanished when she said "I am not leaving this stage." Yes, congratulations, but this show is not just about you. 10. Stephen Colbert as Stephen Colbert was the perfect choice to introduce "Book of Mormon". "I Believe" was great, but I would have preferred a number that showcased more of the cast. 11. F*CK! The TiVo just rebooted. Have no idea what I'm missing yet... 12. Great duet between Neil Patrick Harris and Hugh Jackman. Absolutely inspired! 13. Wait, what? Brooke Shields in "Addams Family"? Sorry--not buying it. And does anyone know what was bleeped out? 14. Worst bit of the evening so far? Bono and The Edge. Forced humor, and couldn't you have cleaned up just a bit? And I'm assuming that particular song from "Spiderman" was chosen because there were no cables or harnesses required. Quite forgettable. 15. Robin Williams? Also still funny after all these years. 16. "Anything Goes" is one of my favorite production numbers of all time, but I was hoping to see the new version of "Blow, Gabriel, Blow". I'm also wondering if any of the past Reno Sweeneys were as tap-tactic as Sutton Foster. 17. A moment here to thank the Tony producers for not including any faux celebrities (I'm looking at all you reality "stars") amongst the presenters. 18. Well, casting Brooke Shields in "Addams Family" looks like genius compared to putting Christie Brinkley in "Chicago". 19. Congrats to local girl Sutton Foster! And I thought she had the best acceptance speech of the night.

On second thought...

Well , it's week two of Dancing With the Stars; what have we learned?
1. Mark Ballas needs to remember this is not the Ringling Brothers circus. Hopefully his disastrous choreography won't get Chelsea booted.
2. Cheryl Burke can apparently work miracles--holy crap, Mr Jericho can DANCE!
3. Kirstie Alley continues to delight...
4. Mike Catherwood's guns can't quite compensate for his dance floor shortcomings--but he's getting better...
5. Romeo's apple has apparently fallen far from Master P's tree.
6. Wendy's freakin' hilarious. I have to find her show, 'cause I'm not sure how long she'll be here...
7. Three words: Too. Many. Commercials.
8. Ralph Macchio is the embodiment of "I can do anything I put my mind to". He brought the biggest smile to my face.
9. New front runner: Hines Ward. Best consistency week-to-week.

Dancing With the Stars, version... whatever...

Is this thing on?

I confess, I've lost track of what season they're on, but I'm pleased the DWTS producers decided that reality whores (<cough> Kate Gosselin <cough>) and political slimeballs (<cough> Tom DeLay <cough>) were neither entertaining nor appropriate.

Missing? The big flashy opening number introducing all the dancers. Bummer.

So, who's here, and how did they do?

Chelsea Kane: I don't watch Disney, so she was a blank slate to me--but a delightful surprise. Good potential.

Wendy Williams: Anyone else flashing back to last season? Surprisingly shy on the dance floor given her larger than life personality, but could be quite entertaining (but not a long termer)

Hines Ward: Another pleasant surprise--light on his feet and good showmanship skills, too.

Petra Nemcova: Predictably graceful, and slightly subdued; some potential, but needs to amp up the energy.

Romeo: Really? Did we need to be reminded of Master P? Seems to have a bit of an attitude problem (rooted in stereotypes, it seems), but somewhat redeemed on the dance floor. Not bad, but no Kyle Massey.

Sugar Ray Leonard: Darn. I had higher hopes. Great attitude and smile, but sorely lacking in grace and musicality. Will coast on popularity for a while...

Kendra Wilkinson: Who? Where's her pole? Not bad, but not as much of a "performer" as I had expected.

Ralph Macchio: Rod Blagojevich called; he wants his hair back (yes, I'm jealous). Nice moves, though, and great choreography by Karina. The surprise of the evening.

Chris Jericho: Umm...er... Credit for a good attitude, surprisingly humble, and could have been far worse out there. Can Cheryl pull a "My Fair Wrestler"?

Mike Catherwood: "Psycho Mike"? Swell. Not sure why he's here, as he doesn't seem to care much. Tough to watch.

Kirstie Alley: The big finish. Holy odd couple! "If someone told me to haul ass it would take two trips". Moves surprisingly well for her age and size, and could go the distance because she's hilarious to watc., too

So, my picks? Chelsea, Hines, Ralph, and possibly Kirstie...

Oh, and Bruno: Really? "Call me Daphne"?

Dancing With the Has-Beens, v11.0

Well, when I first saw the list of "stars" on this season's "Dancing With The Stars", my first thought was "Thanks gods for TiVo", because I would be fast-forwarding even more than previous years (see also: sleazeball politician Tom DeLay and reality whore Kate Gosselin). So--were my fears justified? Let's find out...

Audrina Partidge: First surprise of the night; not vain, not self-centered, dedicated to the event, and possessing a modicum of talent. Good for Tony, who got stuck with no-talent clown Kate (I'm sorry--did I say that out loud?) last season.

Kurt Warner: A nice guy (seven kids!), but not quite at the level of previous professional athletes.

Kyle Massey: Second surprise of the night; not just a performer, but also having a great sense of music. Could make it to the final three, even though he's among the least well-known.

Rick Fox: Unlike Kurt Warner, he's got the grace and technique to go far--and the fact that he's paired with previous winner Cheryl Burke increases his odds of success.

Margaret Cho: What's with the  costume? Did the producers have to pull that with the only Asian celebrity? Overall, a bit sad that that they overplayed the comedy bit.

Brandy: The first celebrity to come in with an advantage--with her musical background--and she didn't disappoint; definitely a contender for the final three. And a wonderful potty mouth, too...

Bristol Palin: Not sure how a teenage mother is a valid spokesman against teen pregnancy, but... Well, the good news is that she lacks all the annoying characteristics of her mother, but there's not a lot going for her. The fact that she seems to lack the conviction of her competitors from an "I'm here to win" standpoint, as well as any kind of showbiz style, works against her. And, uh, hello--while we got a nice look at Kurt Warner's family, no mention of Bristol's toddler at home?

Florence Henderson: Apparently, like Brandy, she's got a bit of a potty-mouth. In good shape for 76, and not quite the embarrassment of Cloris Leachman.

Michael Bolton: Ouch. This won't last. Great attitude and conviction, but that won't get you far...

Mike Sorrentino: Is it possible to be shallower than one dimension? Like Bristol, not entirely why he's here, aside from furthering his own attempt at celebrity. And do they really need to announce him as "The Situation"? Sorry, Karina, but this package is well past its sell-by date. Bonus points to Len for the smackdown--"Did I tell you you've got the guns but not the ammunition?"

Jennifer Grey: Well, off to a good start with partner Derek Hough, and genuinely likable person. Very lovely performance, that clearly struck a chord with Carrie Ann. Could make it to the final three as well.

David Hasselhoff: Like Brandy, comes in with a bit of an advantage with his theatrical and musicalbackgrounds. Oddly, he seems older than I thought, and what I thought was an advantage wasn't really there at all. Most likely to last longer than he should due solely to the popular vote.

So, to recap: my favorites are Jennifer Grey, Rick Fox, and (as my wild card) Kyle Massey.

See this: Drowsy Chaperone

Are you looking for a deep, meaningful show that offers profound insights into the meaning of life? Me neither! Which means you'll have a blast at the Village Players' production The Drowsy Chaperone. Friends and semi regular readers will know I'm a fan of the theatre; surprisingly, however, I had never seen this show before. I had seen the ads whenever we were in NYC--and had seen the performance on the Tony Awards a few years back--and I knew the original production starred local-girl-makes-good Sutton Foster, but that's as far as I had gotten. The show is a spot-on parody of vintage musicals (although you don't have to be a fan to enjoy it), chock full of every cliche you can imagine: the ditzy blonde, the leading man with the brilliant smile, and even the dry, quick witted butler (named, of course, Underling). The entire show is framed around a middle-aged, single man who's a big musical fan fondly listening to e soundtrack of this mythical show as it plays out in his head. While the songs aren't quite in the truly-hummable category, it's a very entertaining, laugh-out-loud, fast-paced ninety minutes, so find yourself a bit of free time to check it out. More info can be found at www.birminghamvillageplayers.com.

Watch this: Iron Man 2

"I'm going to have to ask you to exit the donut."

"I'm not joining your superhero boy band."

"You look like two seals fighting over a grape."

What's a Robert Downey Jr. action/adventure without some one-liners--even if (in this case) they don't all come from him? Now, while I did see--and enjoy--the first Iron Man, I was not a big follower of the comic book. That being said, I did follow the various stories during the development of IM2, and the various debates about where to take the story. And, while they didn't strictly follow the path of Tony Stark's descent into alcoholism, I thought they did a good job of painting a portrait of a tortured, dysfunctional hero (not unlike Downey's Sherlock Holmes, ironically enough).

Gwyneth Paltrow was back as Pepper Potts, and I have to credit the writers with developing an almost Nick-and-Nora-esque banter between the two; Jon Favreau (Happy, the bodyguard) and new-to-the-franchise Don Cheadle (Rhodey) did nicely as well. Samuel L. Jackson's expanded role as Nick Fury laid a bit of additional groundwork for the upcoming Avengers movie, and Scarlett Johansson's briefly appearing Black Widow brought a rather unique, almost comic-book-like visual style to the fight scenes.

Yes, it was loud--lots of screams, lots of broken glass, and lots of fast-moving robots. But I confess the negative reviews I've seen seem to have been written by people with short attention spans, unable to follow an admittedly twisty but not overly confusing plot. So I'm looking forward to either Iron Man 3 or The Avengers--whichever comes first...

Ten? Already?

Good heavens. Ten seasons (in five years) already? Yes, it's that's time again--time for B, C, and D-list "celebrities" (and the faux-famous) to hit the floor in Dancing With The Stars. So, let's see what we've got...

• To begin with, snazzy new graphics that finally ditch the kitschy script for a bold, arial-esque font, and a "Right Stuff"-style walk-on promo with all the stars. After ten years, it's about time.
• New co-host Brooke Burke was a favorite of mine when I wrote about her at the start of season six, and I was pleased to see her on board for the new season.
• Putting the 'green room'--now nicknamed the 'celebriquarium'--out in front of the audience adds a bit of newness as well.

And now, on to the stars...

• Chad Ochocinco clearly has the style, charm, and humor we've seen in Emmett Smith, Jerry Rice, and Jason Taylor, and the added bonus of having two-time winner Cheryl Burke as a partner. Entertaining to watch, and on my short list. And I thought he got robbed with a score of only 18 on his cha-cha.
• 90210 b*tch Shannon Doherty isn't nearly as evil as you might think, and I thought it was sweet dedicating her dancing to her dad. Not a bad performance, but not an 'aha!' either.
• Not following sports, I have no idea who Erin Andrews is. Nice personality, good attitude, ambitious, and good sense of how to 'sell it'.
• Bachelor Jake Pavelka? Meh. Vanilla personality, vanilla style.
• I've only seen perhaps half an episode of Reno 911, but Niecy Nash seems to be one of the more pleasant and talented comedy stas we've seen thus far. Not bad, but hopefully she'll stick around--for the "thick girls"--for at least half the season.
• Skating champ Evan Lycasek is extraordinarily graceful, and a nice guy, but lacks of some of the showbiz pizzazz we've seen in previous Olympians; I'm not getting the vibe I got when I first saw Apolo Ohno. Then again, it's his first night...
• Well, I hope I'm half as lively as Buzz Aldrin at 80. The fact that he's even giving this a shot is great. The good news is that he can't possibly be as obnoxious as Cloris Leachman.
• Naturally, a Pussycat Doll like Nicole Scherzinger (is that how it's spelled?) is bound to come in with an advantage, but still... wow! And who's been hiding Len's AllBran? What a pissy attitude! I could easily see Nicole making it to the finals--and it doesn't hurt that she funny and humble, too.
• Aidan Quinn? Yeah, like some smokin' hot soap hunk is going to distract me from... I'm sorry--what was the question again? Unfortunately, once you got past the brilliant smile and sexy accent, it turns out Aidan managed to drain the heat out of his cha-cha (although I blame Edyta's choreography as well).
• Y'know, if Kate Gosselin had just magically appeared and I watched her rehearse with Tony, I might have been a bit sympathetic. Unfortunately, this woman essentially whored out her eight children in an effort to become famous, so the sympathy card won't work. As Carrie Anne, pointed out, she's "different from everyone else here". That's right--everyone else here (more or less) is either talented, or enjoys dancing, or wants to make themselves better people. Why is Kate here? To prove to her kids she can dance after they told her she couldn't. Wow. Deep. And who did Tony piss off to get stuck with her? I thought ABC couldn't sink any lower after Tom DeLay, but I was wrong.
• How can Pamela Anderson see where she's going through all that hair? An interesting novelty--and perhaps more entertaining than Niecy.

So, right now, I've got money on Chad and Nicole. Let's see what happens...