splitting the adam

Not dead yet! And the dancers are back...

Yes, it's been far too long since I've posted here; like much of America, I've become used to the short form of Facebook. However, I'd like to bring this blog back to life...

However, one of my perennial favorite shows--despite some poor choices of "talent" by the producers--is Dancing With the Stars. Nice people (mostly) competing with real talent (mostly) and judged by judges who actually... judge.

One beef to start: what the frak is 'contemporary' dancing? Seems like it's all lifts and very little precision or footw0rk involved. Carrie Ann's explanation didn't help, and clearly Len was as frustrated as I was. Color me bored and annoyed...

So--how does the new crop look?

Kelly Pickler: fun, flexible, flirty, and quite capable on the dance floor--and helped by a seasoned pro; An early favorite.

Victor Ortiz: good attitude, but may be in over his head; did better than his rehearsal suggested, however, and he may be a diamond in the rough...

Ingo Rademacher: token beefcake--but, given the 'contemporary' slot, too early to judge...

Lisa Vanderpump: "real" housewife, fake talent; not sure why she's here aside from promoting her empire and dancing with a strapping young man; doesn't seem interested in actually participating or improving...

DL Hughley: great partner, and a good attitude; alas, a much better comedian than a dancer...

Zendaya: token Disney tween star--but has great musicality; might be a little creepy watching her try a sexy rumba; also an early favorite....

Sean Lowe: wait, the Bachelor is wondering why the tabloids are talking about his personal life? Can he be as stupid as he sounds? Hardly danced at all during his own dance--and that was still too much....

Aly Raisman: Mark with another Olympic gymnast? Deja vu? Charming, wth a good sense of rhythm; another dark horse?

Dorothy Hamill: great backstory, wonderful attitude; a front runner who likely has a lot of fans out there...

Wynona Judd: played it safe, but has a big fan base; a good performer, but understated...

Andy Dick: Gosh. Not what  expected at all. I thought we'd see a total screwup, but instead we saw a guy trying to pull his life together. Not terribly smooth, but he'll probably last longer than a few others....

Jacoby Jones: token jock (usually either football or basketball); a little clunky, but some nice moves--and pretty likeable to boot; probably the best guy out there tonight....

Final thoughts? Best odds to Kelly and Zendaya, with Jacoby, Dorothy, and Ingo as wild cards...

 

Not dead yet! And the dancers are back...

Yes, it's been far too long since I've posted here; like much of America, I've become used to the short form of Facebook. However, I'd like to bring this blog back to life...

However, one of my perennial favorite shows--despite some poor choices of "talent" by the producers--is Dancing With the Stars. Nice people (mostly) competing with real talent (mostly) and judged by judges who actually... judge.

One beef to start: what the frak is 'contemporary' dancing? Seems like it's all lifts and very little precision or footw0rk involved. Carrie Ann's explanation didn't help, and clearly Len was as frustrated as I was. Color me bored and annoyed...

So--how does the new crop look?

Kelly Pickler: fun, flexible, flirty, and quite capable on the dance floor--and helped by a seasoned pro; An early favorite.

Victor Ortiz: good attitude, but may be in over his head; did better than his rehearsal suggested, however, and he may be a diamond in the rough...

Ingo Rademacher: token beefcake--but, given the 'contemporary' slot, too early to judge...

Lisa Vanderpump: "real" housewife, fake talent; not sure why she's here aside from promoting her empire and dancing with a strapping young man; doesn't seem interested in actually participating or improving...

DL Hughley: great partner, and a good attitude; alas, a much better comedian than a dancer...

Zendaya: token Disney tween star--but has great musicality; might be a little creepy watching her try a sexy rumba; also an early favorite....

Sean Lowe: wait, the Bachelor is wondering why the tabloids are talking about his personal life? Can he be as stupid as he sounds? Hardly danced at all during his own dance--and that was still too much....

Aly Raisman: Mark with another Olympic gymnast? Deja vu? Charming, wth a good sense of rhythm; another dark horse?

Dorothy Hamill: great backstory, wonderful attitude; a front runner who likely has a lot of fans out there...

Wynona Judd: played it safe, but has a big fan base; a good performer, but understated...

Andy Dick: Gosh. Not what  expected at all. I thought we'd see a total screwup, but instead we saw a guy trying to pull his life together. Not terribly smooth, but he'll probably last longer than a few others....

Jacoby Jones: token jock (usually either football or basketball); a little clunky, but some nice moves--and pretty likeable to boot; probably the best guy out there tonight....

Final thoughts? Best odds to Kelly and Zendaya, with Jacoby, Dorothy, and Ingo as wild cards...

 

"There, and back again"

Bonus points if you recognize the obscure geek/literary reference...

So, with week two of Dancing With the Stars done, and, having failed to get even close to identifying the front runners last week, I think I've managed to narrow things down...

First to go? Sorry, Gavin and Martina, but I don't think the popular vote will counteract your scores.

My top five, most likely to make the finals: Donald Driver, Katherine Jenkins, Maria Menounos, Roshon Fegan, and William Levy. Personally, I'd love to see either Maria (and her infectious/creepy laugh) or Katherine win.

Time will tell...

 

Dancing With the Stars live blog...

The short answer? Best. Premiere. Ever.

Well, first, congrats to ABC for not casting any a-holes or clowns. I'm actually looking forward to seeing a group of maybe-not-quite celebrities but at least nobody objectionable. That being said...

1. Bruno's suit? Shiny much?

2. Congrats to Bruno for namechecking Sofia Vergara--she should be on next season!

3. Bonus! An episode of 'Castle' set on a faux 'Dancing With the Stars'!

4. A surprising number of '8's--and two '9's!

And now, on with the show...

Maria Menounos: I don't know exactly who she is, but her laugh is amazing and she seems pretty capable on dance floor. Being paired with Derek is a plus, too.

Jack Wagner: I neither followed his singing nor his acting career., so I pretty much came in blind. Overall, better than I expected, and looks to be in pretty good shape for the long haul.

Donald Driver: Funny family man, and on fire on the dance floor! Wow--hell of a first night performance! And extra points for the adorable kids!

Gavin DeGraw: Seriously; is the hat crazy-glued to your head? Not bad on the floor; a bit unsure, it seemed, but he's got a strong partner in Karina.

Roshon Fagan: Well, he clearly comes in with an unfair advantage, but his awkwardness in rehearsals disappeared once he hit the dance floor. If he can keep that up during the slower, more elegant dances, he's got potential.

Sherri Shepherd: Freakin' hilarious, and pretty light on her feet, too. I hope she sticks around just for the entertainment value. "Short of birthin' my child, this the hardest thing I've had to do in my entire life..."

Melissa Gilbert: This season's Jennifer Grey--the injured cougar? A bit worried to hear she 'broke her back', which might be problematic in the long haul. No apparent formal training, but did quite well in the face of probably the evening's toughest choreography.  A few rough edges, but a good start, and I like her attitude.

William Levy: I'll admit--I did have a bit of trouble...er...concentrating. But despite what looked like a disastrous rehearsal, he redeemed himself quite gracefully on the dance floor, and having Cheryl Burke as a partner doesn't hurt, either.  

Martina Navratilova: An "A" for effort, but clearly some issues with fluidity and musicality compared to the other female contestants. Better than I expected, but, hey, someone's gotta go first...

Katherine Jenkins: Well, that's quite a set of pipes...but not your typical stuffy classical singer. Fun to watch, and a really nice job with the foxtrot. Her biggest challenge will be the "Who the heck is she?" factor--but high score of the evening so far!

Gladys Knight: Is the Irish guy always going to get the older women? Good chemistry between her and Justin, she moves great (I hope I can move like that at her age), and I suspect she'll be getting the popular vote for a while, too.

Jaleel White: This was the big finish? I was skeptical--but, to paraphrase Kim, "Be nice to the geeky guys." Graceful, elegant, with an honest and open smile on his face the whole time.

At this point, I'm going to have to break with my tradition of calling the top four; frankly, there's no one really bad and there are quite a lot of good people. I'm willing to dismiss Martina and Gavin early on, but it's a hell of a horse race.

 

 

 

 

 

Once upon a Beetle?

So--riddle me this...

On ABC's Once Upon a Time--wherein all your favorite fairy tale characters like Snow White and Rumplestiltskin are alive and well and living today in Storybrooke, Maine--the main character (Snow White's daughter) drives a beat-up, vintage VW Beetle.

On NBC's Grimm--wherein a detective discovers he can 'see' mythical creatures like the Three Bears--the sidekick (a reformed blutbad, or 'Big Bad Wolf') drives a beat-up, vintage VW Beetle.

So, two modern-day fairy tale shows where a vintage Beetle plays a prominent role. Coincidence? Bass-ackwards product placement? You decide...

Dancing With the Stars, v13.0

Time for my snap judgments (and, frankly, after last season's predictions, I'm feeling pretty confident)...

• Ron Artest: Well, there's always one bad boy, and while I appreciate his motivations, it's not clear his heart's in it (although perhaps I could fault newcomer Peta's choreography)
• Rob Kardashian: I'm pretty sure this makes two Kardashians too many participating in this event. And his reason for being here? Improving his confidence and getting out of his sisters' shadows. Translation? "I'm here to be more famous." And his flat-footed performance shows he won't be going too far.
• Kristin Cavallari: Not a bad performance, and she's got a good partner. Not convinced she's not just another media whore, though.
• Chynna Phillips: Charming, down to earth, and (surprise, surprise), great musicality. Should make it beyond the first half, at least. And why does Tony seem to always get paired with the cougar?
• Nancy Grace: Well, apparently, she is at least partly human. And her Irish partner is quite the charmer. Not yet motivated to fastforward past her as I did with Tom DeLay...
• David Arquette: Seemed to live up to the pre-show hype, although a bit rough and goofy around the edges (which expert partner Kym should be able to address). And did I see PeeWee Herman in the audience during his dance?
• Elisabetta Canalis: Who? Meh. Her heart didn't really seem in the dance, and she didn't really seem to be enjoying herself. And not helped by the cheesy choreography...
• Hope Solo: I like her. Sassy, self-deprecating, and also nice lines on the dance floor. My favorite so far.
• Carson Kressley: Rather amazing that Carson's flaming nature was overshadowed by the whole Chaz brouhaha. I hope he lasts for a while because he's freakin' hilarious, but I gotta confess I thought his technique was truly awful, so his charm will have to go a long way. I must agree that he puts the C in Caucasian...
• JR Martinez: Shocking, heroic, and inspirational backstory, and I think the first competitor with any kind of significant military background. Surprisingly smooth on the dance floor (especially after watching the rehearsal tape).
• Ricki Lake: Well, she's got the best pro in the bunch, and, like Kirstie Alley, surprisingly graceful on the dance floor--and I suspect she's got great performance chops for the high-energy numbers.
• Chaz Bono: Talk about the odd couple (but perfectly matched)... A pleasant surprise on the dance floor, with pretty snazzy footwork and the ability to 'sell' the dance.

So, in the final analysis? I'm tagging JR, Chynna, Ricki, and Hope as best bets for the four finalists, with David as a wild card.

Random thoughts on the Tony Awards...

1. It's deliciously ironic that, for all the talk of the Tony Awards being the gay equivalent of the Superbowl, host Neil Patrick Harris opened with the show with a brilliantly hilarious song explaining that Broadway is "not just for gays anymore." 2. Ellen Barkin is still around? I assume her excessively along acceptance speech is explained by the fact that she seemed to fall off the face of the earth and she wanted to make sure people didn't forget her. I also wanted to see Joanna Lumley win just to get a bit of an AbFab flashback. 3. Surprise! Daniel Radcliffe can sing and dance quite well (and does a very good American accent). Personally, I think "How To Succeed" might not have been the best vehicle to make his musical debut; any show that includes a number called "A Secretary is Not a Toy" doesn't really age well, "Mad Men" notwithstanding. 4. Loved the number from "Catch Me If You Can", although I was surprised they didn't showcase the star of the show. 5. Thought the Spiderman bit was hilarious. 6. David Hyde Pierce? Still funny after these all years. 7. "I want to thank everyone I met in my entire life." 8. What kind of shirt was Trey Parker wearing? He looked a bit like a disco priest... 9. Well, what's an award show without a shrieking, crying winner...? But the charm vanished when she said "I am not leaving this stage." Yes, congratulations, but this show is not just about you. 10. Stephen Colbert as Stephen Colbert was the perfect choice to introduce "Book of Mormon". "I Believe" was great, but I would have preferred a number that showcased more of the cast. 11. F*CK! The TiVo just rebooted. Have no idea what I'm missing yet... 12. Great duet between Neil Patrick Harris and Hugh Jackman. Absolutely inspired! 13. Wait, what? Brooke Shields in "Addams Family"? Sorry--not buying it. And does anyone know what was bleeped out? 14. Worst bit of the evening so far? Bono and The Edge. Forced humor, and couldn't you have cleaned up just a bit? And I'm assuming that particular song from "Spiderman" was chosen because there were no cables or harnesses required. Quite forgettable. 15. Robin Williams? Also still funny after all these years. 16. "Anything Goes" is one of my favorite production numbers of all time, but I was hoping to see the new version of "Blow, Gabriel, Blow". I'm also wondering if any of the past Reno Sweeneys were as tap-tactic as Sutton Foster. 17. A moment here to thank the Tony producers for not including any faux celebrities (I'm looking at all you reality "stars") amongst the presenters. 18. Well, casting Brooke Shields in "Addams Family" looks like genius compared to putting Christie Brinkley in "Chicago". 19. Congrats to local girl Sutton Foster! And I thought she had the best acceptance speech of the night.

Riviera road trip: Cincinnati

Well, my Riviera--now christened Dolores--made her maiden long-distance this past weekend, joining a Lambda Car Club caravan from Detroit to Cincinnati. Along the way, I learned a few things...

• Despite the lack of reclining seats, I was reasonably comfortable over the four-hour drive. In addition, although I had hoped to get the vacuum-operated cruise control fixed in time, it turns out that wasn't too much of a liability. And, yes, driving a large-diameter, skinny-rimmed steering wheel can take some getting used to.
• Not only is the air conditioning efficient, it's scary-efficient--to the point where frost formed on the vents. In fact, it seemed as if the airflow slowed down after about twenty minutes; I'm told it's possible the compressor froze up and wound up restricting airflow. Fortunately, turning the a/c off for about three minutes was enough to unfreeze things.
• Fuel economy? 14 miles per gallon with three people + luggage aboard.
• I confirmed the passenger-side outside rear-view mirror, while stylish, is totally useless. If it were mounted about three inches further rearward, I think it might be visible (although then, of course, the symmetry with the driver's side mirror would be out of sync).
• Piloting a 4,000-pound car with drum brakes down a hill in a thunderstorm is very, very scary.
• It would have been nice, on the ride home, if Mother Nature had decided to let up on the rain for at least an hour or so; while the windshield wipers are reasonably effective, there is no 'intermittent' feature.

So--mission accomplished. And it's nice to be home...

PS: Check out some cool photos here...

On second thought...

Well , it's week two of Dancing With the Stars; what have we learned?
1. Mark Ballas needs to remember this is not the Ringling Brothers circus. Hopefully his disastrous choreography won't get Chelsea booted.
2. Cheryl Burke can apparently work miracles--holy crap, Mr Jericho can DANCE!
3. Kirstie Alley continues to delight...
4. Mike Catherwood's guns can't quite compensate for his dance floor shortcomings--but he's getting better...
5. Romeo's apple has apparently fallen far from Master P's tree.
6. Wendy's freakin' hilarious. I have to find her show, 'cause I'm not sure how long she'll be here...
7. Three words: Too. Many. Commercials.
8. Ralph Macchio is the embodiment of "I can do anything I put my mind to". He brought the biggest smile to my face.
9. New front runner: Hines Ward. Best consistency week-to-week.

'Cause you gotta have faith...

A CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western  Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a  long, long time. So she went to the Western Wall and there he was, walking slowly up to the holy site. She watched him pray. After 45 minutes, he turned to leave using a cane, moving very slowly. She approached him for an interview.

"Pardon me, sir, I'm  Rebecca Smith of CNN. What's your name?"

"Morris Feinberg," he replied.

"How long have you been coming to the Western Wall praying?"  

"60  years."

"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"

"For peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray for all the wars and hatred to stop. I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults, and to love their fellow man."

"How do you feel after doing  this for 60 years?"

"Like I'm talking to a fucking wall."

Tip o' the hat to my dad...